I recently read about a new world record. Perrier-Jouet has shattered the record for the world’s most expensive champagne. Basically what they’ve done is take a couple bottles of their existing 2000 Belle Epoque vintage, repackaged and remarketed them, and marked the price up to ungodly levels. It’s sheer genius!!!
Which sends me wondering what else could get this treatment. I’ve got a list of I think brilliant new products. All I need is an investor with vision. Check out our first set of releases:
- Summer Breeze Elite — made with aged Evian spring water, packaged in a luxurious black velvet box monogrammed in gold
Trident Gold — individual pieces soaked in a proprietary mix of truffle oil and spices, packaged in platinum-plated vintage Pez dispensers
Olde English Reserve — a traditional 40-oz. infused with a shot of ‘47 Cheval Blanc contained in a bottle designed by Jeff Koons
Now this is just the first series. Once we get rolling we’ll come up with any number of things for the impossibly rich to snap up. We’ll be printing money. Puffy will be calling us to throw our product release parties. We’ll have Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Kim Kardashian on speed dial. We’ll land on the cover of GQ as tastemakers of the year. Interested investors please send your financing proposal to somuchmoneysolittlesense@gimmetheloot.com.
March 31st, 2008 at 6:55 pm
And now… the Summer Breeze Elite TV ad storyboard…
A twentysomething girl and her youngish-looking 40something mom stroll along the beach, a light wind tossing their glossy, shimmering, sunbleached hair. 20something girl looks slightly tense, then hesitantly asks “Mom… do you douche?” A knowing smile plays at the corners of 40something mom’s mouth as she tenderly plays with a flower she’s been carrying along. After a moment’s consideration, 40something mom answers “Yes. I use Summer Breeze Elite.” After another moment, daughter asks “Mom… does DAD douche?” “YOU JUST — YOU SHUT YOUR FILTHY LITTLE [BLEEP]ING MOUTH, YOU LITTLE $*@%ING [BLEEP]HEADED [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP]!!!”