So apparently I’m a hypocrite. For years I’ve been scoffing at my guy friends for being shallow. It seems that the inane reasons they come up with for dating certain women are surpassed only by the unconscionable reasons they cite for NOT dating others. I get that you can totally ignore a woman’s arrogance, bitchiness, and bad weave because she’s a 36DD, but when you meet a smart, funny, pretty girl but won’t go out with her because you don’t like her name? I can’t justify that. At least I couldn’t… until now.
It’s not my fault I can’t roll my R’s! I was raised in the US, before the advent of Dora the Explorer. When I say his name, it comes out so painfully gringa that I’ve actually resorted to calling him “babe”. Now he thinks I like him way more than I actually do, causing a whole other set of complications. I can’t effing win.
I think… I think it’s time to end this charade. I will just have to come to grips with the fact that I, too, am a little bit shallow. The Unettas and Shaquishas of the world will have to do without my indignant defense. If you don’t enjoy saying it, chances are you can’t date it either.
